I've just this minute finished ironing Dave's shirts. A marvellous antidote to how I'm feeling right now. Dave has gone again. He was home for a couple of days. My emotions were all over the place as I posted on Facebook. Self-examination is interesting though. I know my heart is the one place God looks. Anger has to go, self-pity has too. I am a mess of emotion, but as I ironed I started to wonder how God could be glorified. Perhaps just by being honest with Rosie as she came in and saw my quiet tears. "Mum, don't be down-hearted"
"OK, I answered, "I know God's got a plan"
Perhaps how I behave will help my son to see Jesus is real in my life. Perhaps this is speaking volumes to him about faithfulness and how I am determined to keep my marriage vows. I don't know how God will use all that's happening in my life right now. I know I have to trust him.
Tears are good because with my tears I turn to God and my hard, angry, hurting heart softens again.
I just have to keep putting Dave and my marriage into the Lord's hands.