Saturday, 7 May 2011

Saturday 7th May 2011

I've just this minute finished  ironing Dave's shirts.  A marvellous antidote to how I'm feeling right now. Dave has gone again. He was home for a couple of days.  My emotions were all over the place as I posted on Facebook. Self-examination is interesting though.  I know my heart is the one place God looks.  Anger has to go, self-pity has too. I am a mess of emotion, but as I ironed I started to wonder how God could be glorified.  Perhaps just by being honest with Rosie as she came in and saw my quiet tears.  "Mum, don't be down-hearted"
"OK, I answered, "I know God's got a plan"

Perhaps how I behave will help my son to see Jesus is real in my life.  Perhaps this is speaking volumes to him about faithfulness and how I am determined to keep my marriage vows.  I don't know how God will use all that's happening in my life right now.  I know I have to trust him.

Tears are good because with my tears I turn to God and my hard, angry, hurting heart softens again.

I just have to keep putting Dave and my marriage into the Lord's hands.